Executive function skills have been in the spotlight quite a bit the last few years. This set of skills, foundational to success in adolescence and adulthood, are abilities with which many children and adults increasingly struggle. The frontal lobe is the part of the brain that houses our executive function abilities, and is the last part of the brain to develop into adulthood. This may explain the mayhem that is upper elementary and middle school years.
Dr. Peg Dawson, an expert on executive function skills, recently spoke to Concordia parents about how to foster these skills in your child. She is the co-author of several books, including Smart but Scattered and Smart but Scattered Teens. Dr. Dawson is the former president of the National Association of School Psychologists and is a recipient of NASP’s Lifetime Achievement Award. Dr. Dawson has worked with thousands of children on these skills over the years.
You may be wondering, with all the buzz around executive function, what are these skills and can they be taught? While many struggle with executive function skills, these tasks can be taught, even if there are obstacles that make them harder to naturally attain. There is no perfect intervention, but according to Dr. Peg Dawson, with only 5-10 minutes a day and with consistency, these skills can be implemented even for those who seem the least likely to achieve them.
Dr. Dawson broke down each of these executive function skills and gave practical ideas to practice them with your child (or yourself!)
- Response inhibition is the earliest skill to develop. This is the ability to think before you act. This is the most critical skill to focus on and develop if it is not yet present in your child. This skill is easily practiced by introducing the concepts of “wait” and “stop”. This practice and phrasing allow the child to slow down and count, thinking before acting on their impulse.
- Working memory is another important skill for successful executive functioning. Working memory is the ability to hold information in memory while performing a complex task. A great way to practice this is to give two step directions, using a visual cue to help them remember what it is you’re asking them to do. Having kids write steps down is a great way for them to improve their working memory.
- Emotional control is the ability to manage emotions to achieve goals and complete tasks. These emotions are often caused by what we tell ourselves about external events. Some practices that help build this skill are mindfulness and meditation. Another way is to teach children to check in with their body before, during, and after big emotions. After a little quiet, ask the child how their body feels, and acknowledge how they feel. We so often want to fix these problems for our children. The slower process is to sit with them in big emotions and give them tools to work through those emotions.
- Flexibility is one of the skills that comes naturally to those who might struggle with other executive function skills, such as children or adults diagnosed with ADHD. This is the ability to revise plans in the face of obstacles, setbacks, new information, or mistakes. This skill can be taught, despite implicit belief that it is a personality trait or shortcoming if it is lacking naturally. This can look like helping kids talk about “plan B” if their plan A goes awry.
- Sustained attention is the capacity to maintain attention to a situation in spite of distractibility, fatigue, or boredom. Many kids (and adults!) have a hard time making themselves pay attention to things they don’t want to do. This is one that takes time and years of practice with young kids especially, so start small and don’t give up. Movement in ways that are appropriate helps with attention, so find ways to attach movement to long periods of focus needed and take lots of wiggle breaks.
- Task initiation is the ability to begin projects without undue procrastination in an efficient and timely manner. Some strategies that help are making a plan with a start time, making sure to set and say the start time out loud and make it very visible and obvious. These first six skills are the place to start when it comes to building executive function skills. There are a few more skills to work on once those are set and are referred to by Dr. Peg Dawson as advanced skills.
- Planning and prioritizing are the abilities to create road maps to reach a goal or complete a task. This skill allows you to prioritize what is important in this process and what is not. A strategy that works with kids to develop this skill is to do it with them, not for them. Help guide them toward a plan for the day based on logical order. Projects at school such as science projects are great for developing this skill.
- Organization is another advanced executive function skill. Organization is the ability to create and maintain systems to keep track of information or materials. In the moment, it is often faster to get through jobs or school without a system in place, but as most of us know, in the long run this can lead to disorder and chaos. The ability to slow down and create a system as we accomplish sets of tasks is vital to a lifetime of success. A key strategy here is to start small and keep it simple. With stuff and keeping rooms clean, this can be practiced with the phrase, “don’t put it down, put it away.”
- Time management is the capacity to estimate the time it will take to finish something, not underestimating or overestimating, both of which lead to frustration. A key strategy to develop this skill is to practice guessing how long a task will take, timing it, then debriefing and seeing what the reality was. This skill takes a long time to build. Don’t give up!
- Goal directed persistence is defined as the capacity to have a goal, follow through, and not be put off or distracted. In the school setting this can look like academic performance or getting a driver’s license. To practice, encourage your kids to set small goals and work toward the steps needed to achieve it. Whether in academic settings, sports, or something else, this skill is one that many parents struggle to not become a snowplow or a helicopter, wanting to fix it when our kids run off course of their goals or get frustrated when it gets hard. A phrase that a lighthouse parent might use in a moment of failure and frustration, that Dr. Peg Dawson mentioned the question, “What strategy were you using?” to help kids identify what worked and what didn’t.
- Meta-cognition is the ability to see the big picture, have self-awareness, and take a bird’s eye view of one’s own progress. This skill allows you to take a step back and self- monitor, asking yourself, “How am I doing?” or “How did I do?”
Recently, the Atlantic wrote an article about “lighthouse parents” versus “helicopter parents”. Helicopter parents refers to the tendency of anxious parents to hover and protect children from any hard thing that might arise. Another term used for this parenting style is “snowplow parents”, who pave the way for their child, clearing away all bumps or hardships that might arise. This keeps the child from developing skills to deal with problems and building confidence from doing hard things. The lighthouse parent, in contrast, is a steady, reliable guide providing safety and clarity as children try new things, fail, and solve problems. This models to children how to navigate hardships and emotions.
These skills can take a lifetime of practice. It can take a long time before you might see any direct results. But parents willing to stay the long course and patiently teach these skills will see a lifetime of success, and well adjusted, and confident children.
As you give feedback and use phrases mentioned here to help guide children in these skills, remember that effective praise needs three positive things mentioned for each piece of negative feedback for children to not get discouraged or give up along the way. Make sure to encourage them where you see growth, however small.
Concordia Seattle was honored to host this webinar with Dr. Peg Dawson. Concordia is a small preschool – eighth grade located in NE Seattle. Our small class sizes allow emphasis on personalized learning, confidence, community and academic mastery. We see the value in each child, encouraging them where they are and challenging them to grow. These skills are modeled and weaved into the curriculum throughout the year. Our teachers have the space and patience to help students take ideas to reality, teaching the step by step approach needed to accomplish goals, in the classroom and beyond. Visit our programs page to learn more about how we instill these skills in the classroom at Concordia Seattle.
Watch the entire presentation with Dr. Peg Dawson here. To learn more about Dr. Dawson’s work and research, visit her website or her publisher to purchase books and download resources.
Sources:
Shaw, Russell Lighthouse Parents Have More Confident Kids, September 22, 2024 https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2024/09/lighthouse-parents-have-more-confident-kids/679976/